You are what you eat

What does that mean? You are what you eat...

Like really. How can a man turn into broccoli? Or like a pie or something.

I spent some time thinking about this today. I don't know why I would, but it happened... and here I am; trying to get this thought out of my head so I can go to sleep.

I was walking down a path in High School. Talking with a good friend of mine at the time about who we hang out with. What these people are doing to us and all that.

I can recall and feel everything that passed through my head at that time, like an echo of a thought I'm having right now.

Shaping ones life... you are what you eat... identifying elements that you want in your life...

I was thinking that perhaps if you wanted more apples in your garden... you plant more apple seeds. The easiest place to get apple seeds? from a friggain' apple tree.

All I'm sayin' is that the easiest way to revolutionize your life would be to find something you like and hold onto it. Don't let it go. Take that apple tree and take care of it. Let the little apples that fall find fertile soil... guess what?!? You get more apple tree's next season! Tralaa!

Summoning, creating out of nothing is difficult. Taking something and making more... simple simple simple.

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Well... *smile* A twist.

As I was thinking of a conclusion... I met the stranger that looks back at me in the mirror.

There is more to this.

The Apple Tree.

If your going to work out, if you want more muscles or more density; there is more to it than a routine.

If you want to juggle, some times practicing every day for a few hours won't give you the skills necessary to complete a full set.

If you want to learn how to dance, only going through the moves and copying routines of other dancers doesn't instill that fluidity and grace, the power and possession we see on stage.

Part of this is doing. Watering the lawn so the grass will turn green and grow.
Part of this is refining. Pulling the weeds so the little grass guys get all the possible nutrients and sun light.
Part of this is diligence. Putting off that ball game to take care of things that will flounder without attention.

But the other half might be something we can't put our fingers on.

A connection.

Something I relate to that smile I get when I've figured out another piece of the puzzle.

That gift from God we see all around us but rarely recognise in ourselves.

And maybe a little trust.

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The man who doubts what he's doing but works out obsessively for hours a day, days a week... he won't see the same gains as another who trusts that he will succeed and works only half.

There is so much I can say.

My first girlfriend, we went to church together. The pastor looked out over the assembled mass and preached about taking that leap of faith. That if a man was on a ladder and knew he couldn't climb any more, that God would catch him if he simply let go; would he?

Which very nicely brings a point.

Perhaps the only thing that is holding us on the bad side of the line that separates achievement from attempt is belief.

The blind belief that we will do what we set out to do.

Identify an apple tree in your life.

Movies

I watched a few tear jerking movies over the last few days.

Checked out "The pursuit of happyness" with Willy Smith and "The Guardian" with Costner in em.

Both very good movies actually.
I have to be honest, I teared up once or twice.

It feels good to be a Man.

Baking

Our driller is a Huterite.

Which is cool, I guess. Funny enough - as your talking with him... you can be talking about skiing and trucks and all sorts of manly things. But in his eyes, you can see the only thing he's thinking about are combines and sheep.

He's cool like that.

Today was muffin day. I baked up a batch or two of banana muffins. Was talking to the boys about the muffin's I baked and the driller pipes up "men shouldn't be baking. Never mind that! The only cooking that men should be doing involves the BBQ."

Something about muffins should come from the store.

So!

Does anyone know a muffin recipie that you cook on the barbeque? Or maybe just make muffins like normal and put the barbeque on medium or something?

That'll be fridayish.

Operation muffin continues.

Bones in the sand

Some times we wear down and wear out. Our tolerances become low and we act in ways that surprise our friends and co-workers.

I don't know if this is actually based in reality, but I sorta figure that in instances like these we represent a desert. That perhaps our energy is used up, sorta like sand being blown away from bones hidden. And in moments of weakness; our countenance exposes the bones from the past hidden within.

Platinum Relationship

I've done some thinking over the last few minutes.

A friend has brought up the "golden rule" with me. I had to trump her with the "platinum rule".

This is something I've discussed before.

The golden rule being - treat others as you would like to be treated.
The platinum rule being - treat others as they want to be treated.

As I think I may have beaten these to death, I figured I'd talk about some other aspect of this.

We're all out there looking for happiness. Looking for a relationship that will make us happy. Looking for someone who can meet our needs.

I dunno about those above statements.

I know this turns into one of those 'communism' like ideas - where everyone has to jump on board at the same time, otherwise they're not worth anything... but still. Hear me out.

Instead of looking for something, why don't you offer something? Find someone who you think you can make happy.

Don't judge by class... "she's in my class, she's out of my league" etc. Look for someone you can satisfy perfectly... thats where you should be aiming.

What'll this do?

First off, people will find you more attractive. Your not one of the thousands looking to take from him/her. Your the only one looking to give.

Secondly, you might actually become happy. I know this is a strange concept; but happiness is achievable. As a provider of happiness, you actually get to touch on it yourself.

There is lots more I could do to discuss this, but I think I'm going out side for a froleich in the mud.

The Island

A little update...

A friend of a friend died, the island that is my friend was the center of some bad energetic waves which came to me resonating with my own internal issues and caused a substantial amount of unhappiness. (Not to under-value a person dieing... sorry about that if your upset by my very self oriented comments when my friends are in pain.)

At the same time, the last girl I've been 'intimate with'... even though I've severed as much connection with as I could; she was dumped a few nights ago. Incidentally, like water traveling along the same path as its previously gone before, same deal.

I woke up this morning (Saturday) feeling very close to being hung over. Spent the majority of this morning/afternoon wondering if it would feel worse being hit by a truck or not.

Spending some substantial time attempting to stay afloat in this messy messy emotional drama, I found something. As I was driving to pickup some equipment from another rig; I ended up repeating out loud my name. One of those "I am me" type of things. After my headache went away and my back relaxed enough so I could sit straight, I released these thoughts to let them simmer in my subconcious for a little bit.

There has to be an easier way.

As we broadcast our thoughts, we broadcast emotions as well. But there is a core of us that's untouchable by outside forces (unless you intentionally - very consciously - let someone touch this). and is usually ignored by us in our day to day life.

Same thing - there is something that (regardless of intention) is unassailable by impression from other people.

While I was distracted tonight, (at a movie) I found something which I either forgot about, or didn't know existed. Almost a mountain rising out of this sea of emotional turbulence.

Tonight's homework for myself?

Before I go to sleep, I'm going to find my little beach that's untouched by this massive body of water we share with those around us and setup a hammock and just... relax for an hour or two.

Kitchen accessories

Ok; Seriously...

I was in Wal-Mart the other day, looking for creative things to spend money on.

I found this in the scrubbing isle. Its a little mop to dry your dishes with I guess.

Though how it works, or how you would get the water out of the mop from dish A so you could dry dish B... well it just beats me.

If any of my readers has a use for this, let me know. I'll send one out your way and you can tell me if it actually works.

Death

What do you say to a friend whose friend has just died suddenly and unexpectedly?

"How was work?"

Maybe feeling a little in-adequate here.

Smart bastard

As I still have limited access to my company truck, I had to take a cab yesterday to get to the shop.

Never mind it taking an hour to get a taxi to my house (waited 20 minutes, before cab company A called me up to let me know the closest taxi is like a half hour's drive away - called another company which apperently sent out a taxi from the same area). The taxi that finally picked me up was a hybrid.

Which was cool. I'm actually rather pleased with my first hybrid ride.

Apperently 3-4 days of continuous taxi driving takes 1 tank of gas. He was so happy, he picked up another one for his wife - she fills her tank less than once a month. He saves on average of $900/month on gas. Which should more than pay for all vehicle related expenses.

If I didn't get hard from feeling torque when I pressed on a gas pedal, I think maybe this hybrid party would be something to get in on.

Funny Story!

Funnily enough; I went to empty the hard earned dirty water from the vacuum mentioned below... figured that it would be like a humidifier - one hole, where you need to turn upside down to hold the water in with out leakage.

Its not. For the system to work, there's a rather large vent in the top of the dirty water canester.

Which I found when I turned the container over and discovered how dirty the water actually was.

Good thing I had a good vacuum on hand to clean it up.

Thats what you get for complaining about finding an easy way to do something.

Lazy

Ok; so I actually hit "Lazy" rock bottom.

I went out and picked up a "little green". Its a Bissell vacuum that uses water to clean stuff.

Which is great! I hate having a dirty car floor and figured that this would be the easiest way to maintain its clenliness. And my truck has a rubber liner on the floor. Mopping and scrubbing and mopping and scrubbing... hours of labour; only to have it dry and realise that the water ended up dirtier than the floor was origionally.

Ugh.

So this little $100 unit kicks ass at that.

But then I though... wait a minute! What abuot all those little lino stains in the kitchen?

So I plugged the unit in and spot cleaned a few places.

Now! instead of doing a sweep and mop ! I can just bust out my little floor cleaner, hit that 1 new mess I just made and leave all the other ones for like... tomorrow.

Huzzah!

And as I got to the computer, all I could think about was... I just spent $100 so I didn't have to mop the whole floor.

That I would call lazy.

Snowboarding

This whole manefestation thing rules.

I've been thinking (little thoughts over the last month) that I should pickup a new jacket, something similar to my company jacket just a 3 way one that is warm enough for snowboarding and everything associated with winter sports.

I got to the office this afternoon and talked with a few of the staff... they directed me to our well... I dunno what she does... but she does something... for a new jacket.

I went to try it on, and sure as shit! A beautiful water proof, wind proof, softshell/hardshell 3 way jacket.

It fits! and it even looks not so bad.

I'm very impressed.

So I think I'm going to have to go out snowboarding in the next few days to give it a good try.

Things not to eat

Another month or two and I'll have full truck priveladges restored.

Which is nice!

But I usually take a cab from the shop home when I come in from a jobsite. It allows me to take a nice nap on the way home. True! its a $50 nap... but that just makes it all the better.

This time, I was a little lazy, so I just called the 'rents to come and get me.

I was talking about how happy I was that I had eaten a whole coconut two days ago. The first thing out of mom's mouth was "and you sat on the can the entire next day?"

Which shocked me.

Apperently, coconut is something that just stream-lines the whole digestion process.

Which is awesome! A very good thing to know. Now.

Too bad I didn't know it BEFORE I ate the damn thing.

Life's witness no longer

I am life's witness.

I've said that, many times. Many hundred times.

I would watch people interact, doing what I need to smooth the flow of power between them so its 'healthy' (or what my bias creates healthy as).

Something happened today.

A friend did me a great honor and shared with me. Shared some thing that she knew would hurt me. But a good hurt. Like setting a bone. A pain I was looking for.

Almost like offering a clue to where the Easter egg is hidden inside my mind (while I'm on the great Easter egg hunt.) (and the Easter egg holds like... painful stuff. Ok, maybe not like an Easter egg at all.)

I learned that I can't be life's witness anymore.

Its not my place to feel an other's pain and to hold it as my own, to heal them using my body/mind as a surrogate.

I have room for 1 body mind in my aura, and maybe that's gotta be me for a little bit. At least until I understand what I'm giving up when I lend it out.

I love you all, very much.

I know this is very brief. Please ask questions if your curious.

The muffin man part 2

Funny story.

The company man out here was so pleased with my muffin baking that he asked me to bake a cake for the medic on wednesday for her birthday.

*smile*

Its funny, after you scrape away the oil, these are real people out here.

(and yeah, my muffins still suck balls)

Finding myself

I was talking with a friend last night; she mentioned that "self diagnosis" is a very bad idea.

Which - in an energetic sense - is something I find very confusing.

I'm very sure and understand the fact that we often hide who we are and what we are from ourselves. But... but but but.

The problems that I have, I create.

Once you become aware, once you acknowledge that your doing something; you gain control of it.

Even if you don't want to be in control of it, its presence exists. Like stepping on a splinter or suddenly becoming aware of a sound that a piece of furniture makes.

And eventually; your subconcious finds the knot and starts to unwind it.

Essentially, by bringing it to the light of awareness we've begun its dissembling and eventual destuction.

All started by "I Can"

The muffin man

Do you know the muffin man?

Yeah! he's right here!

Went to town yesterday for some ice cream cake. Unfortunately, Dairy Queen was closed. So I picked up some teflon muffin cooking devices and some muffin mix.

I was thinking that what the boys would most want after working out in the cold is some nice freshly baked muffins!

Unfortunately, my baking skills are slightly lacking. Apperently this oven's temperature calibration isn't up to spec. 400 ferenheight is like 450ish and burns the crap out of the outside of muffins while leaving the inside moist and happy.

Cajun muffins.

So I had to eat like the entire first batch (getting rid of the evidence)... *smile* turned down the temperature and put in the seccond batch.

Just awesome

I hope this link doesn't break any time soon, cause this is JUST AWESOME!

German settles divorce with chainsaw
A 43-YEAR-OLD German decided to settle his imminent divorce by chainsawing a family home in two and making off with his half in a forklift truck.

This has to be in response to a woman's most favorite taunt... "you don't have the guts" and after he leaves, saying to her friends "what can he do?"

Psycho Killer's

I was watching TV. That cursid devil box.

Something's always tickled my imagination when watching children on TV.

Seeing children period. There is something different between them and us. I'm sure you all would call it puberty or growing up. But there is something there that shouldn't be there.

Almost like a contamination of the soul we shouldn't endure, but all go though. That most people call maturity or growing up.

-----

I have a second hand out here. A very spiritual kid.

Which is awesome. He seems to defer to me regarding things of the soul. Which is also awesome. Whats not so awesome? He's messed. If there was anyone I would say has that "psycho killer" look, its him.

The last directional hand I was working with was fucked. Absolutely crazy. Angry crazy. But this is different.

My second hand is the 'nice person' who you just feel uncoumfortable turning your back on.

Which is funny, he looks very similar to a trainee that i had 6 months ago. And everyone I've talked with who knew him before or after has elected him to the "most likely to kill people" board.

---

Profiling.

I went to a body/face reading seminar... they say that the same physical attributes identify trends in behavior.

Perhaps this is further proof, the psycho killer look, that profiling actually follows realistic trends?

Have you ever looked at a little kid and said "that kid looks like he'll be a psycho killer"?

I havn't.

And another favorite goes out the window.

Good news; I've been eating awesome healthy for at least a week now.

Bad news; I hit up starbucks for some wicked awesome coffee. You know, a little caramel macciato to brighten up my morning!!! (*laughing* with a 1 hour drive to get to the nearest Starbucks). Because I know what it feels like to be eating well, this drop to crap intake again has me making trip after trip to the bathroom.

No Caffine high; only a headache and a sore tummy.

Great.

Oh yeah - Speaking about which... I've started eating healthy.

And I made a personal decision to clean out one or two negative restricting belief's/emotional scar tissue type thingers that reside in my mind.

Ever since then (like yesterday or the day before) - I havn't been able to stop eating.

Just constantly consuming food. I thought for a time it was an attempt to gather nutrients... but its not that. I varied from natural sprouted almonds, whole grain bread, pasta, chicken, veggies... all sorts of stuff. (even tastey tastey red delicious apples - still hungry)

So I guess either my body is in for a change, or I'm gathering energy to be able to change how I want to.

It'll be a suprise and I'll keep you all posted.

Meditation music

so I'm running on very little sleep.

Leaving town at 5am, driving through the day; training when we arrived on location and testing tools until 3am-ish, up at 7 to work. End up picking up tools at 7pm and I needed to supervise my trainee until all his kinks were worked out... which meant until 5am.

Up at 7am again and working through the day, brings me to today.

The rig was doing some maintenance work so I had enough time to take a little nap. I put on a theta wave encouraging mp3 and promptly fell into oblivion.

Waking up, sorta... I came to realise that the 4 meditation tracks I had fallen asleep to had kept me comatose for a good bit of time... I had to pull the headphones from my ears and wait a half hour before actually being able to speak...

The moral of the story?

Make sure you set your audio device to not repeat when listening to almost hypnotic music and falling asleep.

Gidgets!

So, I've been doing alot of learning and trying to discover a good way to integrate an ipod into my new car.

Speaking about which, I bought a new car. A 2007 Eclipse GT. She's absolutely beautiful! Execpt when I was home last week; in a little seminar about "the secrets of health and wellness" someone drove into my front bumper. and then they drove away.

bastards.

The story - Mitsubishi's newest eclipse, the fully loaded dream model has a 6 disk in dash rockford deck with a 400 watt (ish) amp and a 10 inch sub, a 9 speaker system that rocks!

Unfortunately; I would like to pickup some satalite radio awesomeness and use my ipod. the only option for a sat is using an fm modulator (transmitting over a shitty imitation radio station to the existing deck) and with the ipod; mitsubishi has an integration unit... but you can't display artist or track names, only using a 2 digit numerical display.

So instead of knowing I'm listening to "put your hands up for detroit" I'm listening to "1-25"... thusly - sucky.

Solutions?

I can repleace the head unit for my car. Apperently, I can still use the stearing wheel controls; but I have to put in a new seccondary amp and sub, because I can't fire the factory sub through the factory amp with a third party controller.

Not only that; but apperently the only deck that supports a 30+ gig Ipod doesn't come out for a month and when it does come out; doesn't play CD's. (its a brand brand new Alpine unit that actually looks pretty sweet)

Or, I can get this unit called a bluetouch... which is awesome; I guess. But it depends on fm modulation to talk to my head unit too. Only its wired into the antenna jack, thusly... a better form of fm modulation. The bluetouch guys were very nice; I contacted them through email. Saying that a unit costs approx $500 USD and is cool up to -40 celcius (thusly won't fail in my bitter cold canadian winter).

Not only that, but i have a truck I would like to outfit as well and would like the same solution in both.

Cell phone booster

My house has tin siding.

Which is awesome. Its a long lasting siding option which usually retains its color and shape for a good long time.

The only problem is that wave forms don't like to pass through tin very well. Aka - cell signals.

So depending on where you stand in my house, you may or may not get cell coverage.

I ordered a cell booster from a website; but apperently I got the wrong one. Telus covers both the 900Mhz and 1800Mhz frequencies in 1x (aka - dual mode digital) and my booster is only for 900Mhz. So I can use it when I'm in analog (900Mhz analog makes a phone Tri-mode) which is wonderful. And it kicks analog ass. Only I just bought a new phone that doesn't have analog.

So I'm up shit creek without a paddle apperently.

I'm working on the manufacturer to see if i can get an exchange; maybe some marginal price involved.

Wish me luck!

Supermarket Slalom

I was in Costco yesterday, and started the supermarket slalom.

You know how you zig zag through every isle scanning and pulling whatever you need off the shelf?

Its funny, because while doing the slalom, you always run into the same people. Over and over again, the people going the opposite way. Stopping to chat at the taste testing stands, waving once or twice as you pass by eachother.

My favorite is when you can't find that one item you need so you go to another store. Only to find your slalom partners walking in the door of Store #2 at the same time. Seeing them in the checkout as you hit another lineup.

I love little things that entertain me.