The Island

A little update...

A friend of a friend died, the island that is my friend was the center of some bad energetic waves which came to me resonating with my own internal issues and caused a substantial amount of unhappiness. (Not to under-value a person dieing... sorry about that if your upset by my very self oriented comments when my friends are in pain.)

At the same time, the last girl I've been 'intimate with'... even though I've severed as much connection with as I could; she was dumped a few nights ago. Incidentally, like water traveling along the same path as its previously gone before, same deal.

I woke up this morning (Saturday) feeling very close to being hung over. Spent the majority of this morning/afternoon wondering if it would feel worse being hit by a truck or not.

Spending some substantial time attempting to stay afloat in this messy messy emotional drama, I found something. As I was driving to pickup some equipment from another rig; I ended up repeating out loud my name. One of those "I am me" type of things. After my headache went away and my back relaxed enough so I could sit straight, I released these thoughts to let them simmer in my subconcious for a little bit.

There has to be an easier way.

As we broadcast our thoughts, we broadcast emotions as well. But there is a core of us that's untouchable by outside forces (unless you intentionally - very consciously - let someone touch this). and is usually ignored by us in our day to day life.

Same thing - there is something that (regardless of intention) is unassailable by impression from other people.

While I was distracted tonight, (at a movie) I found something which I either forgot about, or didn't know existed. Almost a mountain rising out of this sea of emotional turbulence.

Tonight's homework for myself?

Before I go to sleep, I'm going to find my little beach that's untouched by this massive body of water we share with those around us and setup a hammock and just... relax for an hour or two.