Happy 1000

Well... thanks guys (and gals) for your support; as of yesterday, I've had 1000 unique visits to my blog.

And as to that, tomorrow I'm on vacation so you probably won't see a blog entry for at least a week.

Happy 1000!

Capt'n

The wicked shall perish

Brought my girlfriend out to ninjutsu last night... I think it was a positive experiance.

After class, for the post-mortem; stopped by Tim Hortons.

Grabbed a table, waited for food... same same as always; Sat down, noticed that there were a mess of napkins on the floor.

While discussing whatever we were discussing, I happend to use a bad word. When I said it, the whole table next to me stopped their conversation and stared at me. Like I had done something wrong.

When we were leaving; I see these napkins on the ground - so I pick them up. A simple act that takes no time. Clearly the counter people are just too busy to do it them selves. No biggie.

It isn't until now that I see a fundamental hiding in what I saw.

I would assume that these old people were religious.

This is based on that assumption - the stereo type old person. (yeah, they weren't that old... but still)

Its easy to condem what someone else does. But hard to do something yourself. Those napkins were sitting there for at least an hour; had been stepped on several times. No one stopped to pick them up.

But the one person who is willing and able; the people who would condem him directly benifit from his actions.

I think its this whole... "someone else's job" mentality.

Taking care of me? thats God's job. Keeping the floor's tidy at Tim Hortons - thats the manager's job; thats the employee's job.

I see this every where I go. People not bothing to help them self or others.

I'm sick so I see the doctor. I'll just take these pills, the doctor did his job so my sickness will dissapear.

What about taking care of yourself... so you don't get sick? So when you go for your checkup... the doc says things like "you just have to decrease your iron intake slightly and your tip top!" Easy things.

What about cleaning the floor so when the employee comes by; all he has to do is mop... not pickup a dozen trays, all the napkins that some brat has stuck to the floor with his pop spill-stepped in shoes.

Just a thought.

self-esteem

I don't know whats quite come over me in this last week.

Appears that I've grabbed a stripe of self-conciousness and added it to my chest. Everything I do... I worry about it being good enough about what others will think.

I made dinner for my girl on Friday. This pasta/home made creamy tomatoe sauce with misc. veggies... and I can't stop worrying about if it was good enough (I've been up-talking my cooking for a lil' bit now)

But seriously. Before I would cook something... people would eat it. Say "wow thats good" like people are obligated to say when they don't cook. Wether they liked it or not, I would go on with my business without a seccond glance.

But for some reason, things are sticking to my in my head that shouldn't be.

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Ok... looking back; this wasn't all that bad. Worrying for me is the concept of thinking about something twice... maybe three times.

*smile*

Capt'n

Winter

Whats with the weather lately?

Its been 5 degrees Celcius every morning for the last week and a half... for those not from here; thats 15-20 degrees lower than it should be.

I remember when young, not being able to stand on the deck because the wood absorbed all the sun and was too hot to touch... for like the whole month of august. Being able to ride my bike until late October wherever I wanted to go and not being that cold doing it.

Now... I almost lost a testicle last night. Too cold by a long shot.

Its funny... with all this talk about global warming; we seem to be getting colder and colder.

Perhaps this is representative of the weather cycle we're supposed to be going through or something. That we get slow gradual "shitty" summer/winter for a few years then hot ones after.

I dunno; but I don't like it.

Responsibility

I'd forgotten how heavy that mantle of responsibility was.

This whole "teaching breaking" thing... it was creating alot of stress... stress I didn't know I felt.

Today my bboy came back from Vegas; taught class. It was just small (like 4 of us) but still... as soon as he walked in the door I was like "yes!".

That feeling of being able to sit down when all you've been doing is standing. Being able to drink when your thirsty instead of worry about others first.

Its wonderous.

Makes me sorta wanna rethink the whole "I wanna be a martial arts instructor" mentality, the whole "I want to be the IT manager" thing.

Some times less is more and today I felt it in abundance.

Magazines

In one of the bathrooms at my office, there are magazines.

This is your standard doctors fair of Mags... looking at 1-2 year old issues of Motortrend, car and driver etc.

So I was in the 'room last week... happened to read the opening part of a article 'bout La Mons a few years back.

Had to close it, put it down; get back to work.

Have been in there a few times since; with the same mag, looking for that article.

Have you ever noticed that once you find a really good article you want to read; finding it again is actually impossible?

Like a damn dynamic game of where's waldo. Waldo moves when you look where he should be; in this case the article is all but invisible to the naked eye.

*smile* complaint for the day.

Busy like a bee

So lemmie give a little recap as to my last few (and upcoming few) weeks.

Between work, ninjutsu, breakdancing, helping a friend with his Truck project and working with a team to design project management software; I barely have any time to myself for my thoughts.

*smile* never mind my girlfriend; which I take time from all the above to be with. (which is for me... my time I would call it)

Other than that, nothing out of the ordinary. I got knee'd in the face at ninja class tonight; lightly hit someone in the balls, felt my shoulder and elbow pop... then slammed onto the floor repeatedly for an hour or so. (my back hurts)

I call that fun I guess.

Went with the girl to pool last night.

Which I rather enjoyed. During; she indicated that she wasn't very fond of pool. I sorta hope we can go again to play; but I guess the last thing men need in a relationship is competition. (depending I would guess) I think I won more than I lost (don't care)... but found her to be one of those "I'm gonna try this and I'm gonna make it damn-it!" people instead of "I can't".

The former I love, the latter I hate. (yeah... to me "I can't" is the worst, most unatractive thing I can hear). Very pleased, very impressed.

yeah.

So I'm gonna try to take it a little easier this weekend... sleep a lil more... stuff like that.

the police and breakdancing

Breakdancing class again today.

I love it. Nothing says "thank you" to your body like doing a high intensity 2 hour workout.

And whats even cooler is the positive reinforcement you get from your friends and family when your bustin a move at the local disco.

*smile* well... not so much I guess.

The real instructors are all out of town or enjoying summer... so its up to me to teach today (again). which is rad. What I really need (more than breakin') is to learn how to be properly authoritave infront of people. Calm, cool, relaxed and myself... just more so. Even if you have no idea, pretending you know whats happening can really get a person a far ways.

*smile*

So here I am, teaching a class of 7 how to breakdance.

We did pretty low impact today (sore from yesterdays class... which I taught as well)... and funnily enough; I actually had enough stuff to teach without overlapping.

Followed a sort of theme yesterday; abandoned it and started fresh today.

I sorta was questioning what I was doing... until someone asked to demonstrate a particular move. The girl tried it and tried it. Finally got it down; I was like "perfect". She responded with a "yeah, but when you do it, it looks good!"

a single tear crawled down my cheek I swear.

do's and don'ts of teenagers

I think someone should write a book about how to setup your kids so they're not screwed over by society.

This comes to me because I see so many 18 and 19 year olds just learning to drive. (like me) and if they would have been driving (or registered with the insurance company as driving) when they're immediately legal; society can't screw them.

So... I learned how to drive (in under a week) 6 months after I turned 18. Went and grabbed a drivers license (passed first time!) and here we go... using the 'rents minivan.

I smashed it a year and a half later. Unfortunately, because we were calling me an "occasional driver" the insurence company didn't have me in their books. Thins ment that I was brand new at that point. Considered to have never driven before.

Which means that I didn't have a record. I had nothing. Starting from scratch and I was in the high risk category.

Sucky.

So... here are some items I wish my parents would have beaten into me (or forced me to do) so I would be better setup not to be screwed by society. -- or some things I see other parents not doing thats stupid.

1) the whole driving as soon as elegable thing - as noted above.

2) established credit and forced savings.

I was older, had a job... but I learned how to spend every cent I made. I made it? I spent it. Managed to save up some money for school... got tired of that and spent it all.

This resulted in little common-sence education in how to manage finances. I'm still poor at it (which you can tell by the amount of money each month I have to spend vs. how much I apply to previously generated debt. - With all that money, I could have bought a house by now.)

3) learn on something crappy... so that when you get good, you can buy something nice and not destroy it.

My first car was a '97 saturn. Thats right... I got a good job right out of Post-seccondary... and bought a beautiful car.

What happened? I was an idiot driver, not stupid; just unexperianced. I smashed up my beautifull car. Thats not the way to enter into adult-hood debt free.

What did I do? Did I learn? Nope!

I bought an almost brand new motorcycle.

I've smashed it twice now... get the picture?

4) manners

Going to my first office christmas party; we hit up this seriously posh mens club. We're talking your standard lunch involving either the words "crab" or "truffles".

Instead of sitting with my table, I stand up and mingle. They call whatever table I'm with, I just go up grab some food. Get back to my table and I look like an unclassed kid. Valuable points were lost I had to make up later.

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Not only that but what fork do you use for what occasion? had to find that out the hard way.

When do you start eating? Another bad day for my stock.

I understand the concept of respect, but how do you show it? not to make people feel uncoumfortable, but to choose your place in society (instead of having it dictated for you) and fit in where-ever/ whenever. There are rules that other people know. No one told me and I've broken 80-90% of them before I discovered what they were.

5) style

The words "blue and green should never be seen". I've been wearing whatever I want whenever I want, sorta guessing at what looks good and what doesn't. I'd never heard anything about clothing etiquite until my 3rd year as a professional IT guy. Asked an older gent. about something I was wearing... all this knowledge came out.

Whats the deal with white and labour day? No clue. Do you wear white pants with white shoes? do you need black socks?

What about same colored shirt and pants? If they're an off color?

Important!

5) Highschool. - non useless classes

(Basically that people take usless stupid classes in highschool. Instead of taking advantage of all that government funded instruction; they just want to get through it. I'm not talking about senior matriculation; but typing and culniary arts. Typing for me has come in so much use... through out work and further school. -- like this blog for example.)

6) seccond language

Everyone grows up thinking "wow, I wish I could understand what that new guy is saying". Struggling to learn another language on our own time. School? good time to do it. (unless your using "a seccond language" class to meet girls.)

7) piano lessons

I took music lessons when I was little... but you always see people on a piano and just respect their poise and ability. I do.

8) swimming lessons

If your ever in a plane and it crashes over the ocean... your gonna die. What if you could swim some (instead of sink)? then you would be able to watch other people drown before you drown. How much cooler is that? (or maybe you might not die? )

9) scout survival stuff

Thats a goal of myne. To learn how to survive. Not just "a bear is attacking you" type of survival; but how to start a fire without anything; whats edible. Last outdoors ninja course I took, we covered some edible plants. Like cat tails... They taste just like cucumber and the sap can be used like novacain. Awesome!

10) first aid

Learning about the body is always good. No matter what. I have a body... I'm sure you have a body. As its been my life's goal to learn how to use my body better; its also a good idea to learn what to do when you fuck up.

11) cooking lessons

Nothing impresses a girl like cooking her dinner. Nothing is cooler than not eating this McDonalds crap we're presented with every day. Not to mention your package pasta's (with instant just add milk and some butter sauce... that can't be good for you.).

Natural, real food makes nautural real people.

Who would want to live on the coast and not have their kids learn how to fish?

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And here is a list of a few things my parents did that I rather appreciate.

1) Did not baptise me.

Thank GOD! the choice of who to follow, what to believe was handed down to me. Not to say that I chose righteous over evil, but I think I've been doing very good.

Just I wouldn't have been able to see some things if my soul had been pledged into his service like a mother passing on her child as a slave.

Not that its wrong to be a christian / catholic / whatever; just that some people chafe at the bond they're forced into.

2) Did not circumsize me.

I'm 100% whole. YES!

(they say the most sensitive part of a man's um... friend is in his foreskin. This is something I get to enjoy the rest of my life. Not to mention the words "sunburn proof". Without it... there is potential for disaster.)

3) please see number 2... seriously - Thanks!

--

Ok; so my imagination is lacking in this one... but you get the drift. There are good things and bad things that are really cool for kids to learn. That way they turn into cool adults instead of just lacking.

Adjustment

"Ms. Poshlust said...
god. I'm that girl aren't I? God bless your little heart."

Ok... for the reccord, Stella is one of the "good one's" who takes care of her fair share in a dating environment.

But Ms. Poshlust, we havn't dated in ... 5 years. Since then, the flag of frienship has carried above our ship.

Please refer to my post Time to pay the bill and understand I'm mostly (90%) referring to the dating scene.

Thanks;
Capt'n

evolution part 1

I'm reading this 1000 page thing on evolution... preparing for the christmas season where family gets together and ultimately argue topics ranging from world powers to religion.

First off... this book is the most anti-evolution book... not only that but it compares evolutionists to witches, pegans and spiritualists.

Something interesting (which I've never considered before) is the idea that "survival of the fittest" is what our economic model is based.

After all, if we can show a principal stands to create something as complex as us... we should be able to use it to manage our society.

If we absolve that and adopt a "everyone is created equal and special" ideal... or a "we must do everything in our power to make the world in gods image" or something remarkably similer; I wouldn't be suprised if our standard of living drastically changed.

Some interesting thought come along with this; I'll try to layout more as I get factual evidence etc.

The most remarkable is that I'm infavor of creationism... while my actualy standpoint on God is sorta questionable.

Time to pay the bill

I've dated.... and I've dated.

I always find myself paying for whatever happens.

Its a trade (as far as I'm concerned). I have a decent job and money (sometimes) for things like nice meals, good entertainment, etc. It just sucks enjoying these things alone.

I'll go out on a date, drag the poor girl along to wherever I want to go / whatever I want to do; paying for it... because really, she's in my world taking part in my play - I'm being entertained... I should cover associated expenses.

I sorta figure, if it was left to most girls I date to decide activity and ration out cash for said activities; I wouldn't get to do some particulars. Things like having desert after an expensive meal. (no one needs desert, but its nice every once in a while) And sharing that. Having someone who is just here with you to be here is (in my mind) the cat's meow.

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So this wonderfull girl I'm seeing;

Seccond date, we're both in the mood for a munch before dating activity commense. Do a quick and easy Boston Pizza sit down.

We go through the meal, have a pretty good time and she picks up the bill. Doesn't let me look at it, no questions asked, says that she's going to pick it up.

Seriously... damn.

I've never had that happen before.

There are people who promise things... and people who do things. The former say things like "I'll buy next time" "I owe you dinner"... hell, this one girl "owe's" me dinner from helping her move, buying her supper 3 times and I'm very sure there's a couple of movie tickets that need to be thrown in to even things up. And thats while we're friends... as 'equals'.

But thats just it. No talk, nothing. I have nothing to proove; I'm just paying the bill. Thats what her eyes tell me. I bite - done.

I would say more than a little impressed... but that may just be an understatemant.

So much to say

Stories; so many stories.

I'm bubbling with things to discuss and talk about... they're all so... me; not 'this me' but 'that me'... the me that doesn't exist here.

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First off; I was called a guru today at the office by one of the senior engineers.

Which was amazing to say the least. A grumpy old man (god bless his soul) who loves to rag on people calls me a guru. (I believe computer guru was the implecation)

Work is going well; I'm enjoying my days.

As half the office is on vacation, things are running smoothly; network speed is up. As that, my stocks are up. People are happy with me.

I had a good sit down with my friend tonight. We discussed all manner of things under the sun.

He 'bubbled' me at class tonight. Had me demonstrate a technique infront of the whole class... and it went on and on and on. I couldn't get it.

My defenses were alot better than last time this happened; but I was still useless.

there came a point when I recognised that I was being "confusion" bubbled. That I need to burn away the fog before I can do anything. Did that a little bit, but it wasn't fog so my application of fire didn't work as expected.

I almost broke another student after pairing up again. A few things clicked so very solidly that it was scary to move afterwards.

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Ran into a guy at the office today; looked familiar.

I said hello in a knowing manner; shook his hand. It was good to see him; but he wasn't wearing his standard sweater, had lost some weight and this was in a different world of myne so I didn't immediately make that connection.

I used to deal in a casino... blackjack among games. Was very fun... this guy that works for a 'competing' engineering firm (which we work with from time to time) was one of my regulars; hadn't seen him in 2 or 3 years.

Nice to know people appreciated you in the past.

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Among other things. I have more to say, but they go under other headings.

The other office - again

I did a trip to our other office for an "emergency" again.

Jumped on the bike, rode for 3 or so hours to do a half hours work and jumped on to ride back.

A word of advice to the world at large... if your thinking about riding at night on a bike and its raining... get a hotel; relax and ride out in the morning.

You could save a life.

The cloud cover was low, it was late and I was just heading out.

Waterproofed myself (after last trip, I would be an idiot to not have the right gear for this) and went away.

For the first half hour or so... it was just the threat of rain... sorta sprinkling on and off for a few minutes at a time... everything is ok!

Then the sun dissapeared and the rain came in earnist.

Not being able to see on a bike, being moderately tired for a day's of work and a few hours of riding under my belt... portends suckiness.

The real catch was when the wind hit.

On multiple occasions I was almost blown off the road; without any traction or hope of getting any.

I managed to find a car heading in the same direction; but was going minorly fast. (130-160Km/h) Was following him for at least an hour and a half (until my nerves gave out) just to make sure I knew where the road exists in front of me. (if he went off... sure as shit I was going off too)

Stopped mid way; was shuddering, white and exhausted. The lady at Timhortons gave me a free cup of English Toffee (or something like that) when I was fiddling for my wallet. (yeah, I didn't really have the ability to operate my hands at that point. Zippers are such a nuiscence when you can't grab that little tab-guy) Got back on the bike and kept going.

Every once in a while a man gets the oppourtunity to say "I did it!" with some semblance of joy. That the sheer fact he started at one point and finished at another is a triumph over nature.

This was one of those moments...

I should stop making a habit of this.

Memories

So I did it... another one of my Life's goals out of the way.

Every year there's a passing carnival of sorts that comes to our neck of the woods. Stops for a week; takes everyone's money and hightales it.

When I was a young lad; we would drive up to the carnival... some days to take part in the festivities; others only to watch the fireworks in the evening.

One night (I don't remember how old I was) I was in the park and saw that the ferris wheel kept running throughout the fireworks display... thought "wouldn't that be something? To watch the fireworks from the top of the world." (well... not really the top, but its a pretty big ferris wheel... feels damn high when your up there)

Saturday night, myself and a favored lady friend of myne went to see Finger 11 play. As we were walking back, I came to the realization that I've never been to this 'exibition' with a girl and that the cliche in cheesy romantic experiances is to chill out ontop of the ferris wheel and look into eachother's eyes as the world passes by.

So we grabbed some tickets, waited in line.

She was ultra sweet; offered to pickup some minni-donaughts for munchin while we waited... (a favorite of myne). I was enjoying the company too much to let her go.

We get around to the front of the line, finally get up and sure as shit; hit the top of the ride, waiting for people to get off when the fireworks started.

Seriously, couldn't have planned it better than that.

The only 'unfortunate' were the other people we had to share the ferris wheel vestibule with... but thats ok.

Otherwise, I'd call things just about perfect.