the Trainee

Control;

Is a funny word. Its almost like a swear to some people. And others... a way of life.

So I'm deep inside my trainee's head. *smile*

I've been steadily molding him to the better of the company (and thus to spread positivity and happiness with all he touches. Though that appears to be... me!... well; its just co-incidence.)

Something funny he noted... Ever since I got back to the rig (he hasn't made the connection) he's been having steady nightmares every night.

I've been very heavily drawn to the closeness of dreaming and energetic/personal growth. As a matter of fact some of my most profound changes in personality and lifestyle have been shortly after months of nightmarish or heavy dreams.

Never mind attempting to juggle for a month or two. Stopping and after a 3 month rest; 2 nights running a strong dream of juggling. Where I picked up some balls the next day and "all of a sudden" had that ability.

*smile* Its pleasing to see the first symptoms of an effect; that working with me causes.

A good person.

Well; my friends. You can all rest easy.

I've recently discovered that I'm a good person.

*smile* thats right! Me!!! a good person!

I was in the office before I left; and another senior field hand walked in who I met before and felt a kinship with. So I walked up and shook his hand. Watched him for 20 minutes deal with his peers and bosses.

Its funny; because of his kung fu training (and experience) guys consider us alike. We walk almost the same (not quite!) we talk similar. Similar histories, similar interests. Definately a kindred spirit - on the surface.

Unfortunately; I could feel his intent. Could feel how he thinks when looking at people, offering the latest in pirated software or to help them with whatever their pleasure. And it was greedy.

I've never felt it so pure before. But I guess being in the field; away from ... people. You really have a chance to boil down who you are to its base element. I could feel it spreading; the disease of negativity from him. How when he offered what he had, the people on the receiving end would get that green eyed look. Shifty and hungry. Taking a proud man and turning him into a jackal.

So with a sigh and a smile; I look to myself.

I see the good mood and attitude I have; the compliments and smiles I share. Not out of greed; so it can come back to me. But because I like making people feel good.

And I guess that makes all the difference. Not the actions but the intent behind it.

terrified

Ok; so I'm wierded out now.

I've been home for 2 weeks and a few days; did most everything that my little city has to offer. (of course I made a list of things that I'm going to have to do over the next few years... and I'll figure out how to put that all proper like on my blog with corresponding links for you all to follow along with my progress).

I horse back rode, I scuba'd, I played pool, ate several lunches and dinners out. Saw the people important to me; danced with many a girl at a wedding; even tried to pickup a nurse at booster juice. (just for flirtings sake; not to do anything with).

So arrived back here on the rig.

And nothing's more scary than walking through the door to my shack and just feeling a big sigh of relief.

Home.

lol! away from the noise of the city; away from the head noise of complication. Just sitting here with 1 thing to do 24 hours a day; being able to wake up at any point in time and having something important I'm responsible for.

Even when I walk in the door; am told that nothing's working as the other lead hand runs past me to his allready started truck...

I can't believe I like it here.

scuba is hard

Well... I was riding down the street the other day... and saw a sign for SCUBA lessons... starting on friday. So walked in and charmed my way into an allready over-booked class.

*smile*

And what fun it was! I just need to do some quick open-water dives, and I'm off to the scuba races.

The only "really hard part" of the entire class; was the 200m swim we each had to do. Sure; we were allowed goggles; fins and snorkle... but my snorkle was busted (the relief valve on the bottom was pushed up a lil' too much...) so when I submerged my head and breathed, I'd take on water.

Which... incidently makes swimming alot harder. But I gave up on the snorkle and just swam on my back... took a little longer, but I got it done.

So yeah.

Yesterday; strangest thing happened. All day; all I could feel was someone's need to contact me. I called up a few of my friends, but no go.

I don't know what the deal is, or who it was, just that someone was seriously debating wether to call me or not.

Guess I'll never know.

*smile*

Developments

Ok!

First things first; I went to my cousin's wedding last weekend. Had an awesome time. There where a whack load of single girls just there to have fun... which I danced with all them.

Which not being the best dancer in the world; I can seriously hold my own without any difficulty.

Ended up sorta hooking up with this very pretty girl from out of town. Very smart; and agile to boot. I didn't do any follow up number grab; but I'm sure it won't be a problem staying in touch.

After the wedding; came home and just "blah"'d for a week. *smile* dropped my truck off on the south side of the city; and rollerbladed home. (a 30km trip) which only took 2 hours and change. A very worth while "I can do it" excercise.

Going for SCUBA lessons this weekend. Which I'm so excited about. I love (Absolutely LOVE!) being underwater.

Took a girl horse back riding. Which was nice. There were 2 16 year old tour guides who I guess sorta had a thing for me. *smile*

And other than that... the usual.

It was nice; last night. I met up with an old friend of myne. He's been doing martial arts for as long as I have; he's considered by the party ave to be a very tough customer. Apperently has 2 assault lawsuits pending. (he's a bouncer at a not nice bar) being with him was just... a breath of fresh air.

Alot of people think I'm a very smart person... alot of people think I'm an amazing pool player... or dancer... or anything I do I'm good at. But they have no Idea that I fight better than I do anything else. You just don't see it to look at me.

And my friend; see's and understands that in me. Its like taking off that one mask you never thought you could and just existing.