dreaming Continued!

Budgie;

Ok; so the first gate of dreaming is pretty easy.

The catch is... not to just have seen your hands, but to be in a dream and be able to look at your hands at will. To have the will to look at your hands.

So that you see them every night.

The progression from that is to look from your hands to an object. Just glance at that object; then at your hands.

To be able to will yourself to look at your hands when you start dreaming every night and use that as a "point of entry" into consistant lucid dreaming. When you start getting caught up in events of a dream; to look at your entry point to regain concious (lol... well... unconcious) control.

Glancing at more and more items in your dreams between hand looking; so that eventually you don't really need to see your hands at all.

The Seccond gate (if you've allready done and have been doing that consistantly) is to be in one setting of your dream and then to be able to either a) have a dream within a dream (ie. to close your dream eyes; or to fall asleep inside a dream - creating a seccond dream) or b) to look at something far off and change the setting of your dream; or to conjure another setting and make it what your dreaming about. (instead of playing by the dream rules and just... walking somewhere else)

*smile*

Can you do these? (I can't! but its said that females are infinantly better at dreaming than men)

Impecability

I've spoken before... about impecability.

I hope this is a little different perspective.

Was watching Ocean's 11 yesterday, specifically Pitt and Clooney. They have an amazing synergy. A friendship that speaks of longtime association.

Their rolls are impecable.

Never doing something on screen that would jepordise or tarnis their counterpart's reputation, reading eachother and acting perfectly in sync.

Funny; I know its acting. But I've had ... moments ... in real life with associations where that feeling is formed. Quickly dissipating by someone's idiocy; true. But its out there.

Contrasted to...

I have another friend; I'll call Guy.

He's a funny sort; always trying to get into shady situations. He was on a ski hill where someone took his shoes; so he turned it around; took another's. As he was searching; frustration turning to an idea; he calmly states "oh, here they are!" and takes another pair. One of his friends (as he's leaving) looks down, "are you sure those are yours?" "yes they are." "are you really sure, because I've never seen you wear any shoes that look like that" "yeah, they're my shoes" "like really; you must have just bought them (and they don't look new) and have never worn them around me"

That... is non-impecability.

I yearn for an impecable relationship.

Called the first gate

Budgie;

A little experiment if you would...

When you dream; when you can control your dreams...

Look for your hands.

Let me know when you can go to sleep and see your hands.

A glimpse

So...

A long time ago; I took a girl on a date; ended up seeing a fortune teller.

Funny enough...

I spent some time today in that memory. (been reading my "how to become a sorceror" series again) and came to this disconcerting feeling.

Funny enough; alot of what she said has been coming true (or has come true).

Things like predicting career changes; personality changes.

I didn't ask for alot of details, but on the other hand, she did... alter my energy in a significant way.

---

So I'm reading this book on dreaming. About controlling your dreams, using dreams as a way to explore reality, to learn and to grow.

But I havn't dreamed in forever. (well... only dream when I eat messed foods just beofe I go to sleep)

So the first night, I lay down to start some dreaming excercises and with intent, the dreams start flowing.

Every night since (that I remember) I intend to dream and all sorts of crap comes to the surface.

Exciting!

Expectation

So this weeks (and I forget if I wrote other week having this) theme is Expectation.

I've had so many conversations with people about Expectation.

How what one expects becomes his lense (yeah; my spelling is crap tonight). That everything he (or she!) see's is based on this expectation.

How the line between happy and sad is whats expected. When things follow whats expected; everything is happy. When things aren't; sadness.

So this morning (well... 2am) I'm sitting here, and the wonderfull thought came to me.

When looking at a person freshly judged. You hold a cup of their water. Expecting it to taste a specific way.

But to truely appreciate a person; your cup must be shattered, for you to really find their true flavor.

The calls been made for me

The funeral came and went. The morning after; got a call on my phone.

Which was funny because I was up past 10am (working 7pm-7am sorta) and my phone rings. I looked at my lead hand and was like "i think thats my phone". He looked at me "strange".

Almost didn't answer it.

It was the office answering my thought. Thought has two uses; most people don't understand.

You can think to solve a problem. Or when you think while your mind is still; you create.

Ever have something so completely out of the blue happen that perfectly matches your hearts desire?

It was my supervisor "your coming home, relief is on its way". Which I thought 'maybe in a day or so... but not right now!'

A day passed. Got an email saying I should be able to leave Saturday. I love this world.

So Here I Come!

And life finds me

So yeah...

I've been feeling very... down lately.

Not sad; just low. I thought that by working out extra hard out here, I drained my battery and had put out my fire... needing an extrordinary effort to re-kindle.

So my brother called me.

And apperently my uncle died... on thursday... and no one figured to tell me about it. (it being Saturday close to midnight)

*sigh*

Isn't that something.

How it impacts you weather you know or not.

Whats even more strange is that my parents; when discussed with them; told me that I probably shouldn't go. That he was old and not a very close relative.

So I'm sitting here with a sence of disbelief.

I've been out here for almost 50 days; I have the best reason to leave... and I'm having a hard time making that call.