eyes of a fox

Arrived on location yesterday; pulling up, I see the rig is on the summit of a very large foothill.

Larger than any surrounding it; which is so nice. I get to see mountains every morning when I walk outside. The rig is huge; with a massive floor, all surrounded by heavy tarp for winterproofing.

So really, unless your outside; the conditions are very maneagable to work in.

We went for dinner last night; heard that there are a few fox's around the area which (like all dogs do) smell food and beg for scraps. As I've never really seen a "wild" animal, I didn't know what to expect.

Yeah; I've seen zoo'd animals. Things that think themselves wild; but still get fed regularely none the less.

So tonight; supposidly bbq night (they ran out of propane... so tomorrow I guess is steak night instead) I look out the window. Sitting on a 6 foot hill of snow (so eye level) is this damn cross fox. And from far away (with glass seperating you) it looks almost cuddly.

Finished up eating; went outside to wait for my other guys. Turn to my right and I see the fox. Sitting on his little hill not 10 feet from me.

That "wild look" his curled lips like hes growling and I just can't hear it. Funny enough; I feel kindred with that look. And I think thats why he growled... not because I was human. But because I was human and didn't have the "tame" look in my eyes.

Adventures

Wow!

Lots of adventure lately.

Little sleep and lots of adventure. Went dancing more than once; snowboarding more than once; out for dinner alot; some pool; some snoocer (yeah thats spelled wrong).

and today's adventure? severe dehydration and food poisioning!

YES!

Still working on recovering; but everything is fine.

Lots of love;
Capt'n

I am life's witness

*laugh*

So dancing... which is something I absolutely love! doing.

Tonight was just for my enjoyment. Last weekend I went out dancing to flirt and play with women; which was super fun; unfortunately it messed me soo much energetically; that on tuesday, when asked about sunday... I realized that I didn't actually know sunday had passed.

Yeah. Funny enough; sunday I had soo many adventures; visited with family for hours, played pool with a friend late sunday night. etc.

Never mind being flat on my ass monday & tuesday.

So tonight; I was just me.

And I saw a fight break out not a half foot in front of me... (which was sorta interesting.)

Before that I had a sorta pretty girl; ass grind with a drunk moron... while she was eye-fucking me and licking her lips in a way she must have thought was seductive.

I guess she was making orgasm faces or something.

For all those women out there reading this - NOT COOL! it made me want to throw up. (hence not wanting to dance with any girls; seeing that killed my sex drive for the entire evening.)

I am life's witness.

Cries of help

Responding to physical pain is a... programmed reaction.

This post is a little close to home for some people; please take it with a grain of salt.

I stubbed my toe tonight; in my house. My roomate is sleeping, all the lights are out. Everything is chill... and I don't want to break that by swearing.

I didn't grimice or ... anything really. I just kept walking on. As I walked into my room, I glanced at my toes. They were still there. I could walk. Everything else was seccondary.

And for a moment I thought about pain.

Children get hurt and they sorta look around. IF someone is watching, they might cry. If no one's watching or they don't see anyone around... they keep playing. Up to a specific age.

And at that age; they've been programed that pain + noise = attention.

be alone some night and accidently hurt yourself. See if you scream for help; or if you just deal with it as best you can.

The mirror

I was at a mall today; decided to buy a new shaver.

Which meant I bought new clothes and the mall closed before I could get to the shaver store.

I am a giant flirt wherever I go and shopping is no different.

So the girls who are selling clothes were rather cute tonight; I had them not knowing which way up was.

I felt... good. Its not very often I can turn people to mush like that; I have to savor every moment.

The let me out of the store; as I was adjusting things (just around the corner) one of them burst out in nervous laughter.

Now; I understand that having a hot guy walk into your store; make you feel beautifull and have your tongue get lodged in your throat is a very different experiance.

----

On the other hand the "this ugly ass guy just walked in here; thinking he was king shit..." that would cause a person to burst out laughing as they left as well.

Unfortunately, there is no mirror we can look through. To see what others see when we think we're doing well.

Choice

I think I may have brought it up in the past; but I can't stress this enough.

When a hypnotist gets you to do something; its a suggestion. Its a choice to do it or not. It just sounds like a really good idea.

When energetically; or using whatever other means you have to use; every form of manipulation must involve a choice.

When I was little and my brother attacked me. My natural response was to swear at him.

Mom said swearing was bad. She never said "don't attack your brother."

He gave me a choice. "Don't tell mom that I beat you or I'll tell her about you swearing at me."

She still doesn't know.