Lost souls

I think we're all a collection of lost souls; looking to be found.

Magic Moments

It appears to me that there is a moment; after a decision has been made, but before implementatoin, arrises the perfect time to manipulate its flow.

Like when a combo of punches is decided upon; foiling the first move often results in a stunned moment.

Or after a course has been determined of an arguement, understanding and altering the topic can result in easy confusion or winning points.

It just strikes me that this magic moment; were a person to be connected with their target, you can take the decision and alter whats been decided upon.

Like a shot in pool, having someone bump your cue after you've given your brain the signal to shoot. Or upon taking a step, after your out of balance, your foot is in the air; having someone nudge your foot or leg.

I think there are thousands of moments we're all out of balance in a day; where we've committed to an action and are just beginning its execution.

I know everyone else has done this...

i love this quote...

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

I modified this from the origional; taking out the origional references to God.

I know that sorta ruins its authenticity; but whatever.

We're all perfect.

The senses

I've got a few thoughts for today's post.

First off... its a strange thing; when working with people over a long period of time, the most common comment I get is "I've never had hearing this good" ... or vision improvements; touch sensitivity etc.

I don't think its a fact that their ears are actually getting better... I just figured (this morning) that when a person has a little extra voltage in their system, their ears, eyes and other thingers can actually be fully powered instead of running on idle.

First off; when you have one sence lost... it would almost be logical that your other sences would get the power formerly used for what was lost.

Secondly; if a person could save up a little excess energy; what would happen if they poured it into one of their senses?

Forgetting the rules

So yeah; and remember...

When going out with a person; they've allready agreed to go out with you.

You don't need to re-sell yourself on the date.

Funny enough; going through my memory of first dates past; the only ones that failed are the dates I forgot that rule.

Manipulation

Something said to a friend a week or so ago has stuck in my mind and I can't let it out.

I was talking about physically imparting sensations on people. Letting them feel things; like tingly toes; a warm body; extacy etc.

"Its easiest to form a connection, make myself feel something then impart it across to them; convincing their mind its their thought; their body its their feeling."

Yeah, i didn't say it just like that, but it was close.

So I've been meditating alot on that. Alot on how I do things.

I know people who manipulate others without energetic contact... that they can do it by brushing the surface of those effected and cause specific reactions / results.

But I do things differently. I connect and share. As mentioned above...

So when I assist a person to like me; I make myself like them.

When I kindle someone's love for me; I absorb their being and love them for everything they are and project that; causing a sympathetic reaction in kind.

And its f*cked funny... because when someone hears about what i do; they think I play these games with people's emotions. With people's feelings and their minds.

And really, the only games I'm playing are inside my head. The only damage I'm doing is to myself.

The white board I draw on is me and people just happen to be sensitive enough to pick it up and react how I want them to react.

The apprentice

So I've been thinking alot about an apprentiship application someone submitted to me.

Quite alot.

After all; when a person asks to think like you... the whole question of "what do I have to offer?" seems pretty big.

And how can I offer it?

Its one thing to sit and watch the clouds; offering advice to people hearing about 1 or 2 of their problems and professing to be able to fix their world. This is a multi year companionship with "assignments" and "lessons".

The end product isn't a piece of paper or some belt to mark rank. Its a whole new life; with new friends; a completely different outlook and a shaped personality.

And other than that; the only signs of your accomplishment are lonliness and all the small triumphs that you can't ever discuss.

We'll see what happens, maybe its all a misunderstanding.

Me you and everyone else!

Ok...

I'm gonna try to be as co-herent as possible.

First off... Anonymous; thanks for the long comment. It was very well thought out and written... and everything you said is absolutely true.

Unfortunately; i don't want that. I don't want control over my life... I had it and pushed it away.

Being a Scorpio; that comes so naturally... controlling everything I see. And for a time, there was nothing that could suprise;nothing could take me off stride.

But I want a random crazy life. I want to experiance the emotions that come with unwanted suprises and accidents. I love it when something tragic happens in my life (which i often cause) or when something beautifull appears randomly. Its one of this amazing world's wonders and joys.

Don't get me wrong, i still sit in this flow of life and alter the events about to happen... but only when there's a blockage... something thats pushing against the natural flow. Other than that, This is My playground... *smile* and I'm playing.

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So yeah... spent a wonderfull day at home. Worked 26 on, had 1 day off and i'm back out here at the rig.

And not only do I get to do the job i'm trained for; but i get to add another job to my ever growing list.

I just woke up; worked 2 days straight with a half hour sleep during that time... after driving for 8 hours and getting little to no sleep while home.

by just woke up; i mean, i caught a good 2 hour nap. *sigh* and i think thats really the most sleep I'm gonna see for the next 5 or so days to come.

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What did I do while home?

Well...! I convinced 4 friends (with zero notice) to move me into my new house. Ended up going to a pub with some other guys; made it out to a martial arts class.

And I saw a girl.

Strange thing this one... someone from my past whose changed dramatically. And I'm someone from her past (we're talking like highschool) who doesn't even resemble the person she knew.

And I have no clue about where I sit with this one. We walked for a few hours; talked about religion and belief.

Soo much to take in; and not much I want to share. Just that it happened, and that she's an amazing person.

I love my life.

Reach out

I was feeling very low. The bubble I described popping yesterday;

Apperently it involved me being massivly ... messy in the head for a bit.

Before I descended into my depth; I felt a person. Someone I havn't been thinking of for a long time. Its not unusual for me to feel someone... but some days I get reached out to... and others it just... happens.

Like this one.

So in my hour... of understanding... and i reached out to my friend.

I forgot how nice it is... not to approach a person and get the usual guarding... to exist as wolves amongst each other. But to be... accepted.

Love.

The true definition of love... is represented by this... I held it in my hand.

Touching webs

Some times... when you silence yourself.

Beyond here, beyond now. Stop looking at moments, and look at both the past and the future.

Its strange. You can almost balance on the web of events.

----

I happened to listen in on a conversation of my friends. They were talking about the smallest moments which changed their lives dramatically.

And tonight; instead of feeling a moment; I could feel hundreds of moments; thousands of moments.

its strange.

----

My trainee... even though he has more experience than i do, appears to be a trainee in all faucets of my experiance (and he's more than 5 years older).

I hit some buttons this morning... was reaching into his chest pocket which caused an amazing explosion of pure anger. And again, I felt anothers emotions. It was amazing; because I understand... I've been there, I've felt that first hand.

And funny enough; something happened. He's acting very... different now. But I don't remember the moments after me initially feeling his rage.

All I have the feeling is of me ... popping ... his bubble.

I don't know... anyways, I saw 10 minutes of friday night lights tonight and found my own bubble to pop.