Cougars, bears and ex-girlfriends

Was out for a jog off the lease (outside of the save confines of our work site) when a truck pulled up.

It was one of the site co-ordinators. He's all like "you guys know this is bear country eh?"... we smiled appropriately, he left and we continued on our way. 10 minutes later, on the way back another truck stopps. Another boss guy "are you guys aware that a cougar was spotted a few kilometers up the road a week back?" We smile; everyone goes on their way. Finally a truck stops with THE Site boss and another higher-up in it. "hey guys... you should probably not be out here, this is dangerous country; bears and all sorts of things that gobble up young joggers."

And we all go on our way.

Now seriously. Is this what we've been brought down to? I thought we were the top of the food chain. Two young athletic guys who clearly are aware of whats going on go out for a little jaunt. Not 1 but 3 trucks stop telling us about how dangerous this is; and these guys have fear in their eyes.

I understand thats a bad omen; 3 of them. but seriously...

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So the girl and I are broken up.

Strangely enough, this feels different than any breakup i've ever been involved in.

I know this directly relates to who I am as a person; which is good. I guess you can call this a litmus test for my soul.

Browsing online; just having a peek on lavalife there to see whats available; and I see her profile.

*smile* that not only is she back online looking for men (and good luck to you!) but online right now.

A lesser me would be... upset by this. But all I could do was smile. I guess something I'm afraid of, is when I leave a person's world that they're injured. Even when fighting, I've never tried to hurt someone; my life is no different.

And seeing a bird pushed out of its nest (yeah, i know I'm not a parent, or we're not birds... uh... so really this metaphore has nothing to do with whats happening) flying away only makes me sigh with relief.

I guess looking back; I don't want any attachment, I don't want really anything from her (or any girls I've ever dated for that matter.)

I guess like all men, I'm just looking for that little piece of immortality. That small card in the mail on my birthday; saying that I matter to someone. The smile; the understanding that the memories I've helped create won't be forgotten.