Country dancing - the beginning

Before I start; here are the morals and conclusions...

1) Don't ever shoot hotsauce, no matter how good of an idea it seems at the time.

2) Country dancing is one of the easiest ways to get a girl into your arms and keep her there.

Gotta learn these some time; here's how I did it.

When I was younger, I was never really introduced to the bar scene. The guys I hung out with were all older and over the whole "dancing" thing or younger and not yet into it.

But as fate would have it, there came a time for me to be ram-rodded into the furnace to cook.

As I was graduating tech-school; there were these girls my best friend was interested in. Accidently ran into them at this festival (rock concert) the school put on. (headstones headlining for ... uh... some other band I can't remember... but they were really good.) After some of the girls got kicked out of the concert (for attacking some guys... I dunno what the deal was with that) they wanted us all to meet at a local bar.

Didn't really know what to expect, so we went looking for this place... found it a half hour later (cause we didn't know its actual name... just ended up driving around looking for it).

Ends up being a country bar.

Of course, two things come into effect. 1) I'm mildly drunk and 2) I don't know how to country dance. But one of the girls was totally cute (an effect of the beer in me) and I wanted to make some moves.

Ended up on the dance floor trying to two-step. By that, I mean sorta moshing and just moving all over this floor with no real steps or rhythm.

My friend, watching this (was considered a "cowboy" at the time...) was crying seeing the dismal failure I was on the floor. (needless to say I didn't get anywhere with that girl... no matter her social status - or the size of her ass. Which in both cases were below par.)

Decided that moment that he was going to get me an education. Every wednesday we started going to this place on the southside that has free country dance lessons. (might even meet some nice girls)

The first week, we sorta show up and mill around. First lesson? Waltz. (quick quick slow) Paired up with some girls... (what we soon realised was that the girls who go to country dance lessons to meet guys are less than average quality... like C+ or C level on the ordinary / desirable scale) and off we go.

I look at a table of girls; see a pretty and an ugly. I get a dumb ass smile; because buddy took me out that night; I guess I get the hit. So start talking with the short plumper; set it up for the two girls to be our partners.

Funny thing is; the plumper was actually super nice and was really good to dance with. The pertty girl? If I'm not mistaken, she was mute... or deaf or something. Disabled in some way that makes her less desirable to us trying to keep our genetic pools pristine.

Seccond class was 6-stepping... I got a middle aged married ugly and buddy got a hungarian (or something like that).

Was really funny, cause the ugly kept rubbing her hands on my arms n'stuff (feeling my muscles I guess?)

The hungarian on the other hand definately had the concept of "lead and follow" mixed up. My friend... 6'7" and a good weight... was being pushed and pulled by this girl; wherever she wanted to go. Best of all... she tried counting out the steps for him; but not in english... so all friend could hear was "ugh, arghs, ugh" with saliva. Constantly; throughout all songs until the end of the night.

Third class was... well, I can't remember. But I found a moderately not-ugly girl... asked her to be my partner. We danced for 2-3 songs until this pakistani cowboy came in.. all done up with boots, a huge ass buckle and a staw style cowboy hat. His plad was like pink and yellow and his pants seriously must have been cutting off circulation to his balls.

Of course when he saw me dancing with his "woman" he started getting all mad. She excused herself from me and ran over to him; where they fought for the rest of the evening.

Friend got an old lady who kept trying to grab his ass. *laugh* it was really cute watching them dance... she all curled up in his arms.

(sorry... but I remembr watching quite alot... sitting from the side with no partner) He offered to share; but I decided it was time to go have some hot-wings with my graduating class.

which was awesome fun. One of my friends got really drunk; the wings were like 5 cents and they had allready gone through 100 or so. Ended up with some shot glasses and platters covered with reduced hotsauce mush.

"Bet you a shot to shoot all that crap." and I bought him a doublejack too... wasn't nice; but whatever. Funny as hell. He saw all of the attention he was getting; loved it. By the end of the night, you could see him licking off one of the platters.

apperently he didn't feel well the next day. *laugh*