Complaining

There are times when a person tries to explain a difficulty they're having and I make them feel very small. Funny enough; there will be other times the same person (or a similar person) will explain a similar circumstance and I sympathise and try to make them feel better.

From what I understand; everything in life is perception. What we see, what we hear, what we experiance is a perception. A comparison really of what we have infront of us vs. what we've previously seen / experianced related to this issue.

Because of this, our reactions in any given circumstance will be based largely on mood (flavoring our perceptions) and what we percieve to be presented to us.

I can tell you for a fact; my reactions are based largely on my 'judgement' of the presenters intent.

I went out with this girl; she was a few years younger than me. Due to some 'occourance' and growth pattern in her life; she had never worked a job... while I was 'seeing' this girl, she started working at a local grocerie store.

After a 4 hour shift she was exhausted. Some days that was all she did was wake up and work 4 hours; getting home at whatever time... didn't want to do anything else but rest up for her next shift.

Those of us in a different world are like "come on!"... I've worked several 17 and 18 hour shifts (which sucked by the way) and a 4 hour shift to me is like a day off.

This to her is a big deal. This to me is nothing.

When we would talk on the phone (at least the first couple of times) I was completely sympathetic. Understanding; caring. She wasn't complaining to get attention; she wasn't complaining for ego or to increase her 'status' in some way. She was mearly stating fact and not really going out of her way to do it either.

On the other hand; you have people who encounter something that may be very difficult to them; but have the burning desire to tell people about it.

If someone calls me up with the intention of complaining about their 10-12 hour day or their 50-60 hour work week... I try to use an equal amount of my time to make them feel like a moron.

In essence; they are going out of their way to say "guess what I can do!"

This serves two purposes. This feeds the Ego. And this is an attempt at assigning value to an experiance. In essence by complaining (or bragging really) in this manner; the complainer is trying to make an experiance they face more imporant than an experiance their listener has faced... to take from them.

I know I'm very over simplifying a very complex situation; but try to think like this the next time you see someone being ignored. Don't look at what is happening, but why its happening.

I'm not sure thats co-herent, but my thought process was interrupted during the creation of this posting.