Stupid Lesbians

Classic situation; guy meets girl. Guy tried to pickup girl. Girl shoots guy down. Guy walks away muttering "stupid lesbians"; life moves on.

So... I walk into my currently favorite pool hall for a game with a friend. Havn't played pool in a while, so it was about time.

The waitresses (who havn't seen me in forever) are all friendly and chatty. Which is totally cool. End up chatting with the hostess who asks me about my blind date from a few weeks back. I said that I tried to connect with her, but she stood me up; didn't call untill the next day. Clearly had time and thought to say I can't make it; just didn't bother informing me about that fact.

I asked her about her date. That her friend was going to set her up with some guy or something. She's like "nope; no dates for me." So I asked further. "No blind dates, no one sets me up; no one asks me out!" and she walks away.

So I look at my pool partner, at the guys at the table next to us.

The consensus is clear. She was telling me to follow after her and ask her out.

Even if its to get her phone number and not call... its still my duty as a man to follow up on this one. Just to make her feel good about herself.

So; pool ends, I go up to the front desk. My partner makes himself scarce for mentioned reasons.

One of the waitresses had just gotten married, was flashing her ring around the bar... so I opened up with that.

Me: "So... whats up?"
Her: "not much... dead night."
Me: "Oh. So you didn't get married in the last couple of days?"
Her: "No its not working out for me."
Me: "The being alone? or the marriage thing?"
- See how I work into her being alone? Subtle!
Her: "Well the marriage thing. Some guy asked me to marry him..."
Me: "And how did that turn out?"
Her: "Of course I turned him down."
Me: "Why is that?"
Her: "Well... I'm actually not supposed to talk with him. My girlfriend said going into it that I can't talk with this guy after the fact."

Me: "What?"
Her: "Well... I just got out of a year relationship with a girl. We're still living together but not dating anymore. I figured I would turn back to guys. I don't like girls over such a long period."
Me: "And what about this guy..."
Her: "He's at least 15 years older than me; a car salesman."
Me: (kinda quietly... like its a secret.) "Did he have money?"
Her: "Well... yeah; but he wasn't into a monogomous relationship. Really into the swinging croud. Thats how I met him, in a threesome with my girlfriend."
Me:
Her: "Yeah, so I just broke up with her and looking for a guy, but can't seem to find one. I'm kinda lonely."
(thats a cue... for all those who may have missed it.)
Me: "Oh; you want to go out some time?"
Her: " *Hesitation* welll... uh..."
Me: "You wanna go for a ride on my bike?"
(that always gets them)
Her: "YOU HAVE A BIKE? I love motorcycles... they're scarry, but I love them. Have never been on one. My mom says that I'm never allowed to go one one... so I sorta love them from the pits. Like a wannabe biker girl."
Me: "well... they're sorta scary, but seriously fun!"
Her: "Yeah, but I'm absolutely terrified of them... so I would never go on one."

phht.

As you see here... the ball was placed into my hands; and I could have dropped it, but the ball was imaginary. The signals she was sending out were clearly subconcious; with no desire for my hot body.

When I followed through; got hit with the lesbian story; and turned down... it was a minor shock.

Amazingly funny... but a shock none the less.

And by the way - I totally don't feel well from all that excercise on sunday.