Feelings

A strange thought has occoured to me.

Alot of people don't understand my feelings. Like I have none. And really; I don't. Not feelings that 90% of people can really understand.

I don't respond to pain like most people. I don't react like most people. I've always thought its because I'm ... different.

I've had a new thought. An overly sensitive person has been sent out to be my trainee. And he just really gets in my space. I can't stand it.

Like a damn cat; always... there.

So I'm ... pushing back. More energetically than emotionally / physically. Just creating a bubble that he doesn't get to permiate.

And I've like... hurt his feelings. I can feel it. The way that he walks; the way that he talks. He's like a little boy who'se been punished for something he doesn't understand.

And he doesn't understand.

He came to me earlier today; started cutting himself down. Trying desperately to figure out where in our last conversation he went wrong, essentially trying to find the broken piece of rope to fix it.

So that made me start thinking. About how I deal with others; and allow them to deal with me.

And maybe I give them no feelings; nothing to hurt; not to save myself, but to save them. From exactly this.