Loss of ego gain of self

I'm trying to write a post on Ego.

How one's self centered-ness is the root of all... evil I guess.

Unfortunately, I'm having a serious problem writing anything about it without going into a demonstration / story.

That story usually involves an action I've done or an action someone else has done and every time I start describing it; I get caught up in the Ego debate internally.

As I'm not instructing (sorta), the only reason to describe something along these lines would be to showcase my own knowledge or something like that.

You see the problem?

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I've been watching my blog statistics slowly drop off over the last week. I know you all still check me out occasionally. I'm not battling myself on what you think; the guilt and pain of hurting people, the guilt and pain of being hurt.

Its strange, like the absence of guilt. That the only suprise comes from a calm efficiency in "this is broken... how do we fix it?" and my own recognition that thats not ... expected for an average person to do.

If I believed in God, I would say "He is perfect. Everything He creates is perfect, therefore I'm perfect. Everything I do is to his design, I can do no wrong." That my intent moments of crisis are impecable; because of that there cannot be guilt for recriminations. I acted with purity and true-action and am beyond feelings of doubt and shame.

Saying something and discovering that not only do you act according to your "beliefs" but in an emergency situation when adrenalin and testosterone pound through your blood; you follow what you've been preaching to the letter... its different. (to say the least).

I like it; its a very simple way to be. The whole "integration with society" thing is going to take some work though.

I think what I'm talking about is referred to ruthlessness... not cruelty, but ruthlessness.

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To sum me all up - Thanks guys for your support. I appreciate the fact that there are a few people who enjoy listening to me (like a daily talk show) and will try to continue writing.

*smile*

Just not finding an excess of words; thats all.