Friendship

Its strange, taking a friend for granted.

That when his companionship ends; to feel like I'm missing something.

Anger issues

Alright - I've got anger issues.

I don't know where they started or what happened along the way - but I've got anger issues.

I think they are related to control. When ever I'm out of control of my immediate surroundings, it takes alot of effort to not last out in a physically negative way.

Like sunday - this guy was trying to kiss me. He was a friend of a friend; and everything was funny. We were joking around about being gay. He kept trying to kiss me - ended up with his hand on the back of my neck. All I could do was freeze myself, if I moved I would have smashed his nose in with my forehead.

Which is not very socially accepted.

So... I guess there were photos taken by my best friend down here.

Who made them all nice with a picture adjustment program and sent them out to a few people in the office. Who sent them to my boss; and a few people in Canada - which is ... unfortunate.

I guess the problem is; when ever I joke its not really funny. People get really hurt feelings and don't want to talk to me any more. Or my idea of revenge. Revenge to me is so out of proportion to the actual incident that its not really funny at all. (which is why I find it hilarious)

But not good.

Think I'll do some meditation on this one.

Ass pads

There's a girl at work who wears ass pads.

Up until yesterday, I couldn't see it... even though a friend points it out quite often; I couldn't see it.

Now that I've noticed it - I can't not see it.

All the time. Her name is now Ass pads.

What else?

My girlfriend - who I've been dating for a month - is gone for a month.
Which is unfortunate. I was thinking very seriously of dumping her before she left.

Confusion. I can't see another girl without taking care of this one first.

The funny part is; I don't love her. She claims to be head over heals for me - but I don't love her. Maybe in a year. So the only guilt I would feel about cheating on her would come from being caught.