I am a Cougar

So, I was in this "healing course" where I was being healed.

Specifically, there was this time in my life where I needed a little uncertantly introduced; so I created it in the form of enlisting to be 'healed upon' in a "New Age" (applying those words to this will get me shot) sort of fassion.

Without going into much detail about that actual process... I was laying on a massage table, face up having what is commonly thought of as Raki practiced upon me.

I know it wasn't raki... but I can use that term, because people commonly think of raki as being healed without being touched.

Soft music was being played in the background, louder music was being created in my head; and among the journies I experianced was a cougar. My eyes were open, and when I closed them (or they were closed I just was somewhere else) phosphones (colored light inside one's eyes) revealed to me the shape of a large predatory cat.

Of course this immediately made sence to me, me being a cougar (finding that out at that moment) and I began to be/play with my animal form.

What occours to me now, and also why I write this up; is that we choose which animal we pattern after and what that represents.

Even if its on a subconcious level... we as humans can be and act so differently; of course who we are is ultimately our choice. (wether we acknowledge that choice is also a choice we make)

I am more than one thing, more than one person, more than one personality. I always assumed that I was just two seperate cats, which had to co-exist at the same time, just each one a different degree.

A black panther and a tiger, I had thought, were to be my life patterns.

A black panther, black representing the 'energetic' side of a panther (or cougar) and the panther being the mystic form of cat. There are alot of goals aspirations of a panther, none of which I feel apply to today. Just that a panther was cold, calculating and a predator was important to me. Essentially a part of who I establish is me.

The tiger was my brutal side. The brute force side that uses a sledge hammer to open a wallnut.

Interestingly enough, the idea of a plant eater animal was introduced into my mind a few hours ago. I routinely (well... two now) go through cycles of eating only vegetables and eating mostly meat; but never made the connections between my diet and my personality. Recent revelations however show that I am clearly outputting at a different level. Not physically, but mentally. My creativity is way up, my ability to manipulate is also way up. My intent (on the other hand) is totally more peacefull and mellow.

But ultimately my thoghts are, when I only considered myself a tiger/cougar, there was another side, just repressed. It came out (forced its way out) on its own, but I wouldn't allow it to manifest at a concious level.

Making the concious re-evaluation (including dipping into uncertanty) of which animals I am, allows me to continue to evolve into who I am / should be.

Perhaps there are many people who just assume they are who they were, un-neccarily forcing their minds and bodies into a mold that doesn't fit.