The start of my journey

To start...

My name is Craig; I live in a sub tropical city known as Edmonton. Sitting in my office, looking out one of the few windows at the snow covered cars in our parking lot. There just is something missing. Some form of outreach that I require.

For almost three years, I've been using meditation to look into myself; but I've also experienced a side of the real world I never thought existed. Figured I should find some way to share with whomever finds this what happens and has happened. To ask the real questions... Do I imagine what I see and rationalize it later? Or am I only seeing the surface of events.

A little bit about myself.

I would be considered a kind player. I look at flirting with women as a type of sport. Seeing their faces change with emotion; as a direct result of something I've done, said or implied thrills me.

I have rules. (or course everyone has rules to class what they do as proper) I only flirt with women who I want to date. I can't stand one night stands and try not to use girls for sex. Finally, everything I do is up front. If I'm only interested in a girl for her body; I tell her. If I'm currently seeing more than one woman, they both know whats going on. Anything less wouldn't be fair would it?

The catching however isn't always what its cracked out to be. In the last 5 years, I've had one relationship last more than 2 months... (we only saw each other once a week... According to my panel of judges its been stricken from the "relationship" record.) Typically, the random girl I find follows some sort of pattern. For a time, I was only interested in girls who have been 'abused' in the past. Now it appears that I can only find flat chested girls. I'll try to spot whats happening and make a note of it here.

My main identity is centered on martial arts. I've been practicing for 5 years now in various forms. Recently (almost 3 years recently) I jumped into a ninjutsu class. Moving from Taekwon-do to ninjutsu was strange at the least. From complete body tension to completely relaxed movement. Learning how not to hit people like they're a stack of boards to break has been challenging at the least.

Professionally, I fix computers. I've been trained as a software designer, but days after I graduated, was hired by a local engineering firm for manage their IT (information technology) system. In the beginning, I only knew enough to get by. Being able to distinguish the various peices "this is a mouse" from eachother and understanding what the power button did was definatly a bonus. Other than that, my very logical mind and ability to learn was all I carried with me into this field.

After a few years, everyone looks at what I do with awe. They see someone who can type fast and anticipates where windows will pop up. Who can think quickly on the fly and usually solves problems before the user is done describing them.

I would love to say that its because of my hard work and determination... but reality is often a dirty representation of our imagination. I can do what I do simpley because users often repeat the problems of other users... and those I see on a very repetative basis.

True, I learn new things; shove new gadgets and stuff onto our network. Seriously though. Thats only 5% of my total time sitting infront of computers. The rest is doing basic troubleshooting. Things like resetting computers, clicking the OK button, and replugging things into the back.

Its not rocket science... but I guess people just don't have the leggo blocks to make the proper understandings in their head of what really is going on.

*smile*

This is me, welcome to my show.